The TV Business Keeps Getting Stronger !

Back in my broadcast.com days we had a saying that “bits are bits”.  That once content becomes digital, it is naturally going to become available on any and all digital devices. Based on this, we always made the point to be platform and device agnostic. We didn’t care where or how people saw our content, as long as they saw it and we had the chance to monetize it.

We also knew that our core value proposition to consumers was that on broadcast.com they were able to get content that they couldn’t get on TV. We had Yoga channels, we had cricket live and on demand, we had sports , music, movies, tv, comedy and anything else you could think of available. We had a policy that we never tried to create hits. That we were always going to go wide and create a reason for people to start watching video online.  17 years later. Yep, its been 17 years since we started Broadcast.com (as audionet.com first), Youtube and others are still doing the exact same thing.

Good for them ! Except they are making one huge fundamental mistake, they are trying to create hits. They don’t like the idea that beyond a steady stream of 1 hit wonders they haven’t been able to create a sustainable roadmap to content success. In other words, they have no idea how to drive an audience to specific content. Their hits come out of nowhere. (Im excluding music since that has become the domain of VEVO).

TV doesn’t have that problem. TV has a fundamentally different problem. But before we go there, lets talk about the big lie that the internet video folks like to tell in order to pump their products.

The Big Lie = Online video views is the same as number of TV viewers.

1mm views of an online video is not  the same as 1mm viewers of a tv show. Nope. Not true. First, we all know that an online view is not a unique viewer. But lets get beyond that. When you look at USA Today and see number of viewers of a tv show, that is the AVERAGE NUMBER OF VIEWERS that watch the show. So when it says that SharkTank on ABC had 4mm viewers for a showing on Friday night (btw, SharkTank returns Jan 20th at 8pm EST !). That means on average 4mm people were watching. If you were to look at the total number of households for that showing, it would probably be 8mm or more. In addition, we all know that by definition a household has a minimum of 1 viewer, but it can be higher, so if you want to compare apples to apples with an online video , the starting point has to be Households that watched multiplied by the average number of viewers per household .

But wait , there is more ! The views of a video on Youtube includes all the showings over an extended period of time. The ratings for SharkTank or any tv show all happened during the 1 hour the show was on the air. Which is exactly why TV is still a much more valuable advertising medium. Would you rather have your ad seen by the audience all within one hour, or over some unknown extended period ? Who knows how long it will take for your online video to reach 8mm unique viewers ? It will certainly be more than 1 hour. That is an advantage that TV has and will not lose for the forseeable future. No matter what happens with wired TVs or mobile devices TV gives you an audience right now. (And yes we could take this further by including DVR usage as well)

So lets get back to traditional  TV. Big media is not as stupid as they used to be. Nor are they as stupid as the internet video proponents want them to be. At CES this past week it was popular to hear about the explosion of online content and how people were going to be watching it on TV now that the new TVs have internet connectivity to all the great providers from Boxee, Netflix, Amazon , etc.  These  content distribution companies are not competitors to TV as a lot of folks would like you to believe, they are CUSTOMERS of TV show producers.  They don’t hurt the TV business, they have made the TV business far, far more profitable.  In fact, the competition between all the companies that want to provide content over the internet to your wired tv is driving up the price for content produced for TV.

The Challenge that TV has is not in driving an audience that is bigger than an internet source. That is easy. The challenge is in creating hits that are big enough to maximize revenue and return for that show and to create a promotional platform for other shows.

Now some internet video proponents like to tell you that the audience for broadcast tv is declining significantly with the exception of sports and special live programming, in particular the NFL. They are right. Numbers are down. But what they don’t also tell you is that the financial model has changed. All broadcast networks are owned by  big conglomerates, or have same ownership as a big conglomerate. Because of this, single shows are no longer make or break. Shows are geared towards specific outlets. So you will see shows on USA Network that in the past might have been on NBC. The result is that viewing for cable networks has skyrocketed and the amount of traditional tv watched has continued to increase.

In addition those over the air broadcast networks are now also getting retransmission fees. That second source of revenue will change how they make programming decisions.

But wait there is more ! It used to be that only movie companies got output deals. An output deal is when a TV network pays a percentage of theatrical revenue for the license to show a movie. Today, TV shows are getting output deals and generating lots of revenue across all the different platforms that show TV shows. Its not just syndication,but those online distributors want to make sure they get the best shows and they are committing up front to buy those shows. An output deal. Found money.

The TV business isn’t dead. It really isn’t even morphing. Sure people will watch video online. They will watch it on phones. They will download it. But the videos that online distributors pay the most for will be those that have done the best on traditional TV. Which in turn means more money for the production of shows.

Think of it like an SAT question. Online video is to TV today like DVDs were to Movies in the past. A great revenue source that correlated to the movie’s boxoffice.

Bottom line is that the better the TV business does, the better Hulu and Netflix will do because their primary content will be in greater demand

That’s not to say the TV business is not going to have challenges. It will. It will become addicted to the money it gets from online sources and when some of these sources and the competition between them dry up, they will be caught not being able to reduce their costs. Expect it.

But the online TV content providers have it worse. Yes, there is a business in delivering content via TVs. It will seem very cool that when you hit a button on your remote a list of distributors like Amazon, Hulu , Netflix and others will pop up for you to watch. Some folks will make good money with it. But it still won’t be the competitor to TV that everyone predicts. Why ? Because just like no one took the time to change the blinking 12:00 on their VCRs back in the day, having to hit the internet button on the remote, or even worse, the input  button on the remote will not be the path of least resistance for watching tv. Believe it or not, it will be far too much hassle for most people when compared to just turning on and watching  TV the old fashioned way. And on top of that, distributors like Dish, Directv, Charter, Comcast, etc are working hard to improve their guide experiences which will be faster and easier than their online counterparts.

And last but not least, MOCA, DLNA and good old fashioned wi fi is always going to be a hassle. No one has perfect wi fi at their apartment or house. It always screws up. That may be acceptable to a price sensitive market. But when people want to see Tebow Tebow, buffering just wont cut it.

And let me be the first to describe how Twitter will negatively impact online delivered live TV . Compare the latency of twitter to your phone or Ipad or even TV to the latency of online video over the net to your house, through your house and to your TV. The latency of the video because of all the buffering that is done to reduce interruption of the video will mean that your video feed is behind what you are getting on twitter. Not a problem for ondemand,but not good for communal experiences. So if you all want to watch SharkTank and tweet and FB about it with your friends, its only going to work when you watch on a regular tv feed.

Thats the way I see. Let me know what you think

Why Startups Shouldn’t Hire PR Firms

A quote from my book, How to Win at the Sport of  Business got picked up in multiple stories. In the book I stated effectively that “Startups should never hire a PR firm”.   As you would expect, the PR Industry was not over-joyed at the comment.  Articles were written about how incredibly valuable a good PR person can be to a startup.

Actually, I have no doubt that  a smart PR person can add value to a startup.  The problem is that all things considered, it’s not enough value.

The first problem with hiring a PR firm is cost.  Cash is always in short supply in startups.  Given all the potential places that you need cash in a startup, is the company better served having that cash available to potentially keep the company alive  another day, week or month ?  Or hiring a PR person ? I would rather have the cash.

The next issue is time.

The thing about PR people is this: while they may have great contacts and they can get articles placed, they are not capable of doing a vulcan mind meld.  They don’t automatically know all the elements about your business that you want to convey to media, partners, customers, potential employees and even potential investors.  In all likelihood the entrepreneur doesn’t either.  Knowing the message you want to communicate is always a work in progress.  To have a successful relationship with a PR shop, not only must you have the time to communicate to your PR person what your company is all about, you must have the time to continuously educate him/her about how they should respond to questions from the media people they are contacting. That is a huge time suck .  Far too many meetings .

On the other hand, the same amount of time could be spent communicating directly with the media outlets you want to cover you and using that time to develop a direct relationship.

At this point, the PR pro steps in and discusses how many pitches media people get from entrepreneurs like you every day. How there is no way for a small company can break through the clutter to get the attention of media.  If you are a startup that incorrectly thinks it needs to get on Letterman or Good Morning America in order to be a successful company, then they are right. But the reality is that for  the vast majority of startups, particularly tech related startups, most of the media that is going to benefit you out of the gate is trade  related or local media. And these  people are ALWAYS looking for stories to write. They want to hear from unique companies.

It’s amazing how often a simple email to a writer for a trade publication or local media will get a response.  The key to getting a response is being short, sweet , hyperbole free and to the point.  You have to sell your differentiation in a paragraph.

Subject : Tracking Traffic to Reduce Vacancies

Dear Real Estate Industry Writer,

My name is Mark Cuban. I would love to tell you more about our company motionloft.com.  We have internally developed a sensor that when placed on the side of a building can track in real time the number of people and cars that pass by.  Motionloft is  being used by building owners in San Francisco and New York to lease space by showing potential tenants the exact amount of foot traffic in front of a  store location. Its being used by tenants to determine the best time to open, close and to offer specific products in services.

In one test case we would love to share with you, a tenant decided to rent a store front and go against the conventional wisdom of the area and open for lunch…with great results. They made this decision based exclusively on the data provided by motionloft.com

If you would like to see more information about motionloft.com and how your readers could benefit, just let me know !

all the best

mark

It’s simple. To the point. Far from perfect, but it will work. Notice we never say we are the “best, biggest, fastest, most ” or add any hyperbole. Doing so will get you a quick delete.  The whole point of the email was to get their attention by showing what I believe to be would be of great value to their readership. Help the writer, they will help you.

Just as  important, its the first step in developing a direct relationship with a media person who is right in the middle of the industry that I need to be successful in. Media people are not only great outlets for information about your company, but they are great sources of information as well. If you can develop a strong relationship, they will often be happy to compare notes and to ask you what you think about others in the industry and what they are hearing about them. Knowledge is power.

Not everyone is going to respond. But by making yourself available and communicating in a short simple fashion, you are building awareness that will pay off when you see the same people at industry events or when a customer or prospect mentions your company .

You can also ask your customer and any vendor partners if they have any relationships with media and ask for an introduction. They may even have a PR person that they work with that you can glomb off of for free. Like any good sales process, its about asking for referrals and PR is no different. You just have to hustle.

So back to startups hiring a PR firm. Yes, you can get there from here with a PR firm, but im a believer that you accomplish much, much more with direct relationships than by using an intermediary. And that cash you keep in the bank can be the difference between staying alive as a small business, or not.

You Don’t Live in the World You Were Born Into

I thought this was appropriate to start the new year.

We all have the tendency to believe that we are living in a very advanced technological period.  We get all excited about the new tech we got at Xmas and what we read about that will soon be available to us. In reality, everything we are excited about today is going to be incredibly old and boring much faster than we ever expect.

No matter what year you were born, by the time you finish(ed) high school, its (was) a completely different world. Today’s high school seniors were born prior to the World Wide Web, wireless internet, smartphones,tablets, HDTVs  and changes in world politics that were never imagined.  Without question each of us can remember the things that were new and exciting to us when we were kids, that were unimaginable to our parents, but are now nothing more than old memories.

The rate of technological change is not slowing down. In fact, the argument could be made that it is speeding up.  In our lifetimes, we will reach a point when we reflect back on the good old days of the internet, Facebook, Twitter and other tech that is ubiquitous today. We might even look back at digital the way we currently look at analog. Things change.

Of course, this isn’t a problem. It’s a huge opportunity. There is that 12 year old that is imagining what we can’t. Another that is combining elements into something new we should have seen, but did not. It reminds me of one of my favorite sayings. “If you are looking where everyone else is for the next big thing, you are looking in the wrong place”

The reality is, None of us are born in to the world we live in

The Fan Experience at Sporting Events – We dont need no stinking smartphones !

With the season starting tomorrow, I wanted to update a blog post I did in 2010. In just the past 18 months the number of proposals for in-game entertainment have skyrocketed. It seems like every day I get a new proposal to invest in a company that is going to revolutionize the experience of going to a sporting event. Without fail the proposal starts out with some form of “with the explosion in sales of smartphones…” Then I get the meat of the pitch which is some derivative of stats, pictures, fantasy games, social sharing via FB/Twitter or some new network to replace FB/Twitter.

No thank you. Not for the Dallas Mavericks.

In order to understand why I hate these proposals you have to understand first what the Mavs sell, which is not basketball, the expectation of our consumers the available downtime at a Mavs or any NBA game.

Think back to the first professional sporting event you ever went to. It was probably a parent taking you to the game. What do you remember ? Do you remember the score ? A home run ? A jump shot ? A pass play ? Or do you remember who you were with ? I remember being with my dad at a Pirates game. My dad and my uncle at a Steelers game. Think about your fondest memories at a sporting event. Again, what do you remember ? Hanging with your buddies ? A first date ? A last date ? How you felt after the team won or loss ? A business partner or customer ? Or the score ? I’m guessing its not the score.

We in the sports business don’t sell the game, we sell unique, emotional experiences.We are not in the business of selling basketball. We are in the business of selling fun. We are in the business of letting you escape. We are in the business of giving you a chance to create shared experiences. I say it to our people at the Mavs at all time, I want a Mavs game to be more like a great wedding than anything else.

You know the wedding I’m talking about. The one where everyone is up dancing, smiling , cheering, laughing. The one where Grandma Ethel has her annual vodka gimlet and is trying to do the Dougie. The one where although you have no earthly idea what the Dougie is, you can’t say no to your 12 year old niece. The one where the whole place does the Macarena while laughing so hard they are crying. The one where everyone sings out loud to every song and you hug the cousin you haven’t seen in 10 years and hope you don’t see for another 10. It doesn’t matter if half the room doesn’t believe the couple will still be married at the end of the year. It matters if everyone in the place is having a great time. It matters if its the type of wedding that everyone in the room wished or wishes their wedding was or will be like this one. It matters that you leave the reception and your hands hurt from clapping , your mouth hurts from smiling so much and your throat is sore because you were laughing , singing and hollering so much. That’s a great wedding.

That’s how I want a Mavs game to be.

I want it to be very participatory. I want it to be very social. I want it to be very inclusive. I want it to be memorable. I want it to be so much fun people talk about it to their friends and can’t wait to go back. I want every parent to get tears in their eyes when they see their kids jumping up and down whether the score is 2 to 0. or 120 to 84. When they are chanting Lets Go Mavs . When they are dancing and trying to get on the jumbotron.

I want the guy on the date knowing that the longest he will have to talk is during halftime and then after the game, and until the next date, he can talk about the game itself and not have all the pressure of trying to think of something to say while his date can be relieved that she can enjoy the game without him talking. Or vice versa of course. I want everyone coming to a Mavs game to be able to find their own personal attachment to that night. I know I can’t control what happens on the court every game, but I can do my very best to make sure that no matter what the score, we have done all we can to make the fan experience like a great wedding.

IMHO, that means eliminating as many of the “look down” moments in the game as I possibly can. Once you sit in your seat, the only time I want you to look down is to pick up the soda or beer you set down under your seat and maybe to check your phone to see if you got a text from the sitter or your buddy about where to meet after the game.

I want you always looking up. Looking at the game and the entertainment in the arena. You can’t cheer if you aren’t watching. It’s my job to give you something other than the game to look up at.

It may be looking at the fun videos we put on the big screen to entertain you.

We are going to try everything and anything we can think of to make it fun and memorable. Just as a DJ responds to the energy and attitude at a Wedding in realtime and tries to choose the right song or activity to keep the fun and energy up, we try to do the same thing at a Mavs game. We recognize that what makes our games unique is that like a wedding, Grandma Ethel can be sitting next to a goth looking 16 year old she has never met before, and if both are watching when the Mavs hit a shot right as the 24 second buzzer sounds, they can high 5 each other like they are best friends. That if Grandma Ethel is chanting defense and being a key 6th man for her Mavs, the 16 year old will feel better about cupping his black nailed hands together to do the same. That if we put a fun video up on the big screen, they both might just sing along

Video and music are two simple components of what we do. We are developing games that our fans can participate in at the arena that hopefully engage them with what is happening on the court. We are coming up with ways to reward our fans for being our “6th man” and adding energy to the arena. (I will save those for another post). We are looking for ways to enhance the emotional attachments created at our game.

 I can’t think of a bigger mistake then trying to integrate smartphones just because you can. The last thing I want is someone looking down at their phone to see a replay. The last thing I want is someone thinking that its a good idea to disconnect from the unique elements of a game to look at replays or update their fantasy standings or concentrate on trying to predict what will happen next in the game. There is a huge value to everyone collectively holding their breath during a replay, or responding to a great play or a missed call and then spontaneously reacting to what they see. You lose that if people are looking down at their handhelds.  The fan experience is about looking up, not looking down. If you let them look down, they might as well stay at home, the screen is always going to be better there.

Thats not to say that smartphones don’t have a place in other sports. THere is enough downtime in baseball and football games that it helps to offer time wasters.  During huddles and change of possessions, I can see a reason to offer look down entertainment. The same between innings, maybe even between batters. The NBA doesn’t have those time sucks.

As in every business you have to always ask yourself what your product is and the best way to deliver it. In the NBA our product is fun and energy. The last thing we need to do is encourage our customers to stare at their phones

Patent Law Kills Again

I got this email this morning.

Mark,

I’ve been following blogmaverick.com for a loooong time.  I’ve recently come up against a patent related issue and figured I give it a shot in running it by you since you write about patent law often.  I’ll be brief…
I spent the last year developing an extremely valuable piece of technology.  I have caught the eye of a Fortune 500 company that would benefit most from the technology and they want to make a strategic investment in my small company.  The problem is they are big, stodgy and paranoid… and they are hung up on my software possibly infringing on patents.  As you know that it is almost impossible to create new software nowadays that is not at risk of possibly being interpreted to infringe on prior art.  And I’m sure their overpaid legal team will find *something* that they will vaguely relate to justify their salaries.

I’ve done plenty of software deals in the past and have never quite run up against an inventor that has been so paranoid.
You are an investor… Is there anything I can say to them that will ease their concerns?  Any way to structure the deal to ease their concerns?

Any advice is appreciated.
My Advice ?
There is nothing you can do. If some patent troll or someone else wants to attack you with a lawsuit, there is no way you can proactively protect yourself.  It is an unfortunate cost of doing business these days.

My Views on Corporations & Taxes

I understand why CEOs of public corporations take advantage of every opportunity to condemn taxes. The lower the tax rate, the greater the after tax profit. The greater the after tax profit, the greater the share price. The greater the share price, the closer they come to or exceed “their number”. You know, the number. The share price times the number of shares they effectively own when everything is awarded and vested. It is the number they need to be able to live the life they want to become accustomed to.  After all, the ONLY reason you take the job as CEO of a company you were not a founder of is for the money. Period end of story. Lower taxes puts more money in your pocket.   If you want an example of how corporate tax rates are important to CEO wealth, just look at how often public companies manage their effective tax rates to move their earnings per share numbers.

I can tell you with complete confidence that when a company’s stock is moving, for whatever reason, the CEO (and most employees with a lot of effective stock ownership) is marking to market his/her  holdings and calculating his net worth AT LEAST once a week if not more.  Stock is up 10pct,  big smile. Stock is down 10pct. , don’t let your dog near him/her.

So we know why every CEO claims that lower tax rates are critical. But does it really impact how their companies are run ?

1. Competition has a far greater impact on operating a business than the tax rate

Does the tax rate have anything to do with the business’s ability to compete ? Some may argue that if the tax rate is lower, the company may have some more cash to compete with. But then so would the competition. So that argument doesn’t hold up.

The reality is that most industries are a dog fight. You have competition and you crush your brain and those of everyone around you looking for ways to get an edge. If you find a way to better compete, you are going to leverage whatever resources you have available to you in order to do so.  You are not going to look at your tax rate first. You are not going to avoid making a decision because your taxes are TOO DAMN HIGH. You are going to do what you can to compete. Taxes be damned. Rule #1 of business is to stay in business.

 

2. Companies hire because they need people to compete and keep customers happy, not because of lower tax rates

The same principle applies to hiring. It is incredibly expensive to hire people. You hire people because you need them. You don’t hire them because your taxes are lower. You don’t hire them because you just repatriated cash from a foreign country.  You hire them because you have a specific need for them. They are going to help you become more profitable, more productive, more competitive, whatever the reason. No one hires people simply because they have some more cash in the bank.

3. Companies invest their cash because its strategic

I wonder if Amazon hesitated in developing and releasing the Fire because they were concerned about corporate tax rates ? I wonder if Dish looked at corporate tax rates before they determined the strategic value of buying spectrum. Think Apple looked at tax rates before it decided to open their stores ? Did McDonalds bring back McRibs because the tax rate was low enough ? Companies make strategic decisions every day.  They invest because they want to grow the company. They invest because they are competitive and they want to win. They invest because they want to make more money. They don’t invest because they just had their tax rates lowered.

4. The exception that proves the rule

Not all capital allocation is strategic. Some is purely financial. There are those that look to buy and invest in companies on purely a financial basis. These are the financial engineers. There is a place in the country for financial engineers.  There is a place for those who invest in companies and try to make them more efficient and productive in hopes of getting a sufficient return on their investment either through the return of capital from the company or from the sale or IPO of a company. Nothing wrong with this. And every single financial engineer will also tell you that tax rates are important. The tax rate impacts their  cash returns. While these guys may have big pockets to lobby for lower taxes, the reality is that they are a tiny, tiny percentage of companies and jobs. And trust me, they are not going to use lower taxes to increase employment.  They are there merely to goose returns.

Bottomline is that while CEOs of public companies and financial engineers have good reasons to ask for lower taxes, I don’t see lower taxes creating jobs.  I am not suggesting that increasing taxes is a good thing for companies. That is a topic for another day.

My Soapbox Advice to the OWS Movement and then some

I may not know much, but I know a lot of it. So I decided to share my opinions and thoughts on what I would do if the OWS movement either elected me Grand Poobah or asked for my advice:

1. The Great Lie of Wall Street.

Every CEO tells the same great white lie. It is at the heart of every communication. It is at the heart of every financial decision. It is, at it’s very base, the reason why you all are in the 99pct and they are in the 1pct. The Lie ?

Great CEO  White Lie = “We are acting in the best interests of shareholders.”

When a CEO utters this lie, everyone automatically forgives whatever they do. Add 10k jobless to the unemployment rolls ? Sorry, we did it in the BEST INTEREST OF SHAREHOLDERS.  Merge or buy a company and cut back across the board ? We did it in the Best Interest of Shareholders.

The problem is that unless the company is losing money and it is the only way to keep the company alive, in this era of 9.1pct unemployment  it NEVER is in the BEST INTEREST OF SHAREHOLDERS.

Shareholders , whether they own shares directly or through mutual funds or pensions do not live in a corporate vacuum.  Their lives are impacted by far more than the share price of a stock. Every layoff in the name of more earnings per share puts a stress on the economy, on the federal, state and local governments which is in turn paid for through taxes or assumption of government debt by….wait for it.. the same shareholders CEOs say they want to benefit.

If OWS really wants to change corporate structure and impact the economy, talk to shareholders. Talk to your parents, uncles/aunts, cousins, friends who own shares of stocks either directly or indirectly and have them state loudly and clearly that they would rather have a higher Price to Earnings Ratio and even a lower stock price than have their TAXES increase in order to support all the people laid off from their jobs in the name of shareholders !  

You might even consider buying a share of stock. Just 1. Maybe you can all pitch in and then go to a shareholders meeting and let them know how you feel about the best interests of shareholders.

2.  Push to Make All Financial Institutions Partnerships

We should make all investment banks become reporting partnerships (meaning they still have the same reporting requirements they have today ). I would have no problem with our government loaning money to the partners of Goldman Sachs and Morgan Stanley and other Too Big To Fail Institutions so that they can buy back all public shares of their stock. Of course all those  partners would become personally liable for repaying that money back to the government.  It would probably be about 120B dollars in total to take these 2 companies private. That is far, far less than a possible bailout would cost.

Those personal guarantees would change EVERYTHING in the banking industry. It would change the decision making process across the board.   There would be a moral hazard to every decision. Today , a wrong decision and they vacation on their yacht. As a partner,  the wrong decision and they are protesting right next to the OWS crowd as a 99pct er.  It would be the definition of having “skin in the game”

3.  Limit the Size of Student Loans to $2,000 per year

Crazy ? Maybe, maybe not.  What happened to the price of homes when the mortgage loan bubble popped ? They plummeted. If the size of student loans are capped at a low level, you know what will happen to the price of going to a college or  university ? It will plummet.  Colleges and universities will have to completely rethink what they are, what purpose they serve and who their customers will be. Will some go out of business ? Absolutely. That is real world. Will the quality of education suffer ? Given that TAs will still work for cheap, I doubt it.

Now some might argue that limiting student loans will limit the ability of lower income students to go to better schools. I say nonsense on two fronts. The only thing that allowing students to graduate with 50k , 80k or even more debt  does is assure they will stay low income for a long, long time after they graduate ! The 2nd improvement will be that smart students will find the schools that adapt to the new rules and offer the best education they can afford. Just as they do now, but without loading up on debt.

The beauty of capitalism is that people like me will figure out new and better ways to create and operate for profit universities that educate as well or better as today’s state institutions, AND I have no doubt that the state colleges and universities will figure out how to adapt to the new world of limited student loans as well.

Finally, the impact on the overall economy will be ENORMOUS. There is more student loan debt than credit card debt outstanding today. By relieving this burden at graduation, students will be able to participate in the economy

4.  Tax the Hell Out of Wall Street; Give it to Main Street

In a world of High Frequency Trading and black box trading that does nothing but create a platform for “financial hackers” to turn the market into their own proprietary financial playground, we need to figure out a way to revert the Stock and Bond Markets, and the derivative instruments created from these equities, back to their original purpose, a place to raise capital for growing business. Instead, today its a platform for financial engineers and hackers looking to exploit every and any opportunity.  When 60pct or more of trades are from High Frequency/Algorithmic traders and the correlation for every market index rushes past .7, the market is no longer a market, its a platform.

The simplest way to change this is to place a very simple per share tax on every transaction. 10 cents a trade. Every share. Every option. Every Bond. Every currency transaction.  Every trade.

The obvious response is that trading volume will plummet. So what ? Let it. The next response is that traders will merely move their trades to foreign exchanges. Yes they will. Will transaction costs go up ? Duh.. that is the point. The market thrived when spreads and transaction costs were much higher just a few short years ago. It will survive now.

You see, in the real business world there is always a trade off between risk, reward and the law of unintended consequences. If we have learned anything from the past 12 years it should be that black swan events happen more frequently than we like and that the law of unintended consequences has a far greater negative impact than business as usual has a positive impact. 

I would happily send transactions overseas and let them absorb all the risk that comes from a continuous effort of financial engineers and hacks trying to game the system.  By letting them move overseas, we would still have risk because of the interconnection of economies, but our direct risk would be much less. And given that the UK already has a semblance of a tax on transactions, it wouldnt’ take long before they would need to expand that tax in order to hedge the systemic risk associated with financial engineers and hacks.

More importantly, it might just put the market back to the basics of what the stock and bond markets are supposed to be, a means of raising capital to support corporate growth.  There used to be a time when Investment Bank Partnerships made their money scouting out small companies in need of capital and matching them with investors. They weren’t as big as they are now, but they managed to create quite a few growth industries. Something we could use some of today.  Making the stock market a launching pad for companies will have far greater value and impact employment far greater than making sure High Frequency Traders can get their trades in.

What does everyone out there think about these ideas ?

and just for shits and grins, here are some old posts on related matters

Fixing Executive Compensation

Apr 1st 2009 10:57AM

I have a simple question.  Why are profitable companies laying off people ?  I can see if a company’s survival is at stake.  If payroll can’t be met. If debt can’t be paid. Then layoffs are a necessary evil. Even if companies have created cash flow deficits through their own mistakes, that’s the nature of business. Mistakes are made.  What I have a problem with is that discussion of executive pay never includes whether or not the executive has been good enough to pre empt or prevent layoffs.

Executives are not stupid. Usually. They recognize that killing off employees can juice a stock price. Even in this market. Which in turn can juice the value of their options and compensation.  At the companies I run, we have cut raises, put a freeze on hiring, done what we need to do, but we have done all we can to avoid layoffs. Why ? Because its the right thing to do. Its the patriotic thing to do. I’m selfish enough and arrogant enough to think that maybe if I pay attention to the big picture that I can impact the big picture.

As a shareholder, where possible, I would prefer that the companies I own shares in do the same thing.

I own stock in some firms whose backs are up against the wall because of debt. Unfortunately, they don’t have a choice but to cut jobs in order to save jobs. I understand this reality. It’s unfortunate, but a fact of life.  I also own stock in firms that are profitable.  Put a freeze on hiring. Put a freeze on all raises to employees of all levels, including yours.  You don’t have to try to squeeze every nickel to the bottom line. I realize these are extrodinary times.  I’m happy to accept a P/E ratio that is 20pct or 50pct higher (lower earnings vs the current price) . I want you to manage for the long term benefit of the company rather than manage to the stock price.

I don’t have data, but  I’m willing to bet that private companies are far less likely to lay off people than public companies.

As the discussion on executive pay continues, my message is simple.  Give credit to those executives who bust their asses to avoid layoffs except in cases where its an absolute necessity. Pay ‘em a premium vs those who cut jobs in profitable companies.  Look to private companies as guides to what a well managed company can accomplish, and how executives are compensated.

Capitalism isn’t about having the biggest bottom line for the current quarter.  Capitalism is about individuals busting their asses to maximize value for shareholders.  Sometimes you have to look at the bigger picture in order to reap the biggest returns. Not all rewards are short term.

My 2 Cents on CEO Pay

Apr 15th 2008 2:09AM

There is a game played by CEOs with the corporate issuance of lottery tickets. Otherwise known as stock. Stock can be issued in any number of ways, shapes or forms. Warrants, options, restricted or unrestricted stock. No matter what you call it, every CEO hired, is asking for equity knowing that their only goal is to hit the jackpot and create a pool of wealth that puts them in the “fuck you” wealth category. Thats enough money to buy or rent just about anything you can think of and put you in position to never have to work again. You just live off the cash in the bank.

Put another way, every hired CEO is looking to be in a position to look in the mirror , smile and tell themselves they have made it. They are living the American dream. The only way to do that is to grab as much equity equivalents as you can and do everything you can to get that stock price up as high as you can while periodically liquidating the stock and stuffing the cash in your bank account.

There is absolutely nothing wrong with doing so. Any CEO who doesnt take advantage of this golden ticket opportunity is an idiot. In fact, although I don’t have actual numbers, I would hazard a guess that more than 95pct of CEOs hired to run companies with a billion dollar plus public market caps probably do get themselves to the position of having more than 10mm dollars in equity very quickly. While those who manage to hold on to their jobs a while and not screw up too bad, can relatively quickly get past the 25mm dollar in equity mark and reach the 50mm dollar mark with in 10 years. Its actually pretty tough to screw up and not get there if you have any brains at all.

Why ?

Because you have the entire Mutual Fund, Hedge Fun and Brokerage industry doing everything they can to get you there. Think about it.

You can’t turn on CNBC or Fox Business without them cheerleading the market to go up. Every man, woman, child, fund, index or interested party who buys the stock is doing everything they can to get the stock of the company to go higher. They don’t really care how you run the company and they care less about the results of the company than they do about the performance of the stock. Heck, even if they did care, shareholders dont really own anything and have zero say in the company. If you really dig into it, its the ultimate in social networking. Everyone who owns the stock belongs to the fan page or group for the stock and they are telling everyone they can how wonderful the company is and why the stock will go up, all while praying it does so.

Its the American way and it works ! Hundreds of millions of dollars are spent every year by brokerages telling every American that the stock market over time will go up 7pct per year. All you have to do is diversify and hold onto your stock long enough. For better or worse, everyone believes it.

With all of that social networking power, call it stocksourcing behind stocks, how can CEOs not get rich ?

The problem with all of this is that there is a huge disconnect between the CEO and shareholders doing well and those who work for the company doing well

Yes, its true, particularly in markets like we are experiencing now, stocks can hit 52 week, or even multi-year lows.(although more often than not, in spite of low stock prices, market caps have increased).

Yes, its true that CEOs see the value of their holdings shrink. However, unlike lottery tickets whose value goes to zero when you dont hit the number, the CEO equity positions retain their upside and history has shown us that if they go far enough underwater, they will get repriced and /or reissued. All in the name of keeping the CEO happy. So while CEOs may get “less rich” for awhile, the game is stacked so that a downturn gets them happy real fast when the upturn comes.

The disconnect is that there is a big difference between not making Wall Street happy and not making money.

The pressure from Wall Street is to grow earnings forever. Not matter what it takes. This isnt a problem when a company is doing well. EVeryone is happy. But when the economy hits a bump like it has now, when the market is hitting a bump and stock prices are declining, like it is now, the pressure comes. Everyone owning the stock reacts and whats to know what the CEO will do to get the price back up. This, as they say “is where the CEO earns their pay” Unfortunately, what this really means is that everyone who works for that company is at risk. At risk of losing their jobs, benefits, raises, you name it. Its at risk.

All of which is a long winded way of saying that employees live in the corporate cash zone, CEOs and the top few in management live in the equity/lottery ticket zone.

Those in the cash zone always take the first hit. People,places and things that consume cash are the first things to go because cash expenses immediately reduce earnings. If you or anyone like you consumes cash, unless someone upstairs thinks you generate a straight to the bottom line return on the cash expenditure, you are about to become a corporate ghost. Your person, place and thing will be memorialized as a cut to increase earnings mentioned in a press release that wall street will cheer and use to push up the stock price.

What makes me sad about all of this is that I really think that in this country if there truly was a connection between shareholders and management, that if given a choice by profitable companies, most of us would choose to hold on to our shares and accept an expanded PE for some period of time in exchange for people keeping their jobs.

I would love to receive an email from a company I own saying something to the effect of:

Dear Shareholder,
We are facing a very difficult decision that we would like your feedback on . Our earnings per share last quarter were 20 cents, and for the entire last year, 80 cents. Because of a downturn in business caused by XYZ factors, we face the choice of making 10 pct less, or cutting headcount and related expenses in order to maintain our earnings and possibly even grow our earnings a couple cents this year.

As a shareholder, we would like to ask you whether you would consider allowing us to retain these valued employees. We recognize that it would require you accepting a PE multiple 10 pct higher than the current market. We hope you would be willing to make this concession. We think that the jobs this will save will return far greater value to shareholders over the long run.

We look forward to your vote.

Personally, Im willing to give a higher multiple in exchange for saving people’s jobs. At least once.

Unfortunately, this of course is a fantasy that can’t happen in this country.

Which brings us back to CEO Pay.

As long as CEOs live in the equity/lottery ticket zone and employees in the cash zone, CEO pay is going to be outrageous relative to everyone else.

The only possible way to change this is to put CEOs in the cash zone. Make companies generate 100pct of their compensation in cash that is 100pct expensable in the quarter paid. Thats not to say they cant own stock. Hell yes they can own stock. But make them buy it either on the open market, or as part of the programs that make stock available to every company employee, on the same terms. They are getting paid enough in cash and if they believe in their ability to run the company, they can put their money where their mouth is. Eliminate all the free lottery tickets. Make them buy stock, options, warrants, whatever, on the same terms as everyone else can.

Shareholders tend to ignore how much stock is given to management, they don’t ignore cash. Companies will always be a lot more stringent with their cash, whether its paid to the CEO or anyone else. CEO cash compensation will go way up, but total compensation will come way down. More importantly , CEOs getting paid huge sums in
cash will stand out like a sore thumb when things arent going so well. They will be treated like everyone else in the cash zone and held far more accountable for their work.

Of course this is all just my opinion, but to me its a good thing for all involved. The rich can still get richer, but everyone shares in the risk.

Thoughts on Our Federal Government, Taxes and Small Business and More

These are not meant to be researched items. These are “streams of consciousness” from the conversation yesterday’s post created.

First some housekeeping. I DO NOT like paying more in taxes. HOWEVER, I think that this country has created unique opportunities for entrepreneurs and paying taxes is a small price to pay.  Taxes are not a bad thing.  What bothers me are not the taxes I pay to help others and to support the services our country needs. What bothers me is the  mis-allocation and inefficient distribution of our tax money. Particularly when it leads to taking more money from those who can not afford it, and in this economy, even those making 250k per year can not afford it.

Our Congress, BOTH parties, has progressively lost the moral hazard of doing what is right for the country rather than doing what is right for the party and politician. Why wouldn’t a politician  go for the gold in their political career ? Why wouldn’t a party profess that their way is the only way  ? What is the financial or career downside of doing so ? None.  It may not serve the country very well, but careers and fortunes will be made . Our politicians are no better than the financial whores who helped get us into this mess. They put personal gain over the people they are elected to serve.

So what can be done ? Here you go:

1. Transparency.

It had been often promised  and never delivered.  If there was transparency in our budgets and the actual spending of our dollars, down to the nickel we as citizens would have much more insight and leverage in the budget process. As the saying goes, “Sunlight is a great disinfectant”.   US citizens (with the exception of classified defense spending) should be able to see it how our money is being spent in real-time.    The value of transparency is that we would benefit from the collective brain power of the American people.  I’m usually not a fan of crowdsourcing, but when it comes to managing how our nation’s money is spent, I think it could be a very powerful enhancement to the process.The power of the people at its best.

With complete transparency we could have hundreds of volunteer deficit reduction Super Committees to look for the best places to cut costs and improve efficiency. Without it, we are at the mercy of a “Super Committee” formed purely to make politicians through compromise and political expediency. That is not how problems are solved. That is how they are passed on to future generations.

2. 10 Year Budgets

There is no better example of how politicians lie to themselves and the American people than the fact that our budgets are framed within a 10 year plan.  There is no business person on the planet who would think that a 10 year plan would have even a remote possibility of playing out as planned.  Yet that is what we use to try to convince our country that we are “taking action ” to cure our problems. Hell, even communist countries have plans that are 5 years long.  Any budget plan that is longer than the end of the current POTUS term is basically a crock of shit. You can’t plan what you can’t control.  Any effort to do so is an out and out lie . It’s probably the only truly bi-partisan program that is unanimously agreed upon., and it is a lie.

3. Taxes Vs  Job Creation

There is an ongoing refrain from some that any increase in Taxes will have a negative impact on investment and job creation. Not true in 99.99pct of cases. Never has been. Never will be.  First the .01% times where it may be true. Potentially, a person could have some amount of money less than what they need to start a company because they paid say 1k dollars more in taxes this year than they did last year.  This could happen and I’m sure it has happened. but its the exception that proves the rule.

Now the rule…

People driven to succeed are driven to succeed. People driven by money are driven by money. People driven to compete, compete.  We live in a country that puts an emphasis on achievement. Not just financial achievement. The ability to set goals and achieve them. We celebrate and reward those that accomplish their goals. It is part of the very fabric of what makes this country so amazingly unique.

Those of us who are driven by money have a number that we strive for. People like me. (If you want to learn more about people like me, read this).  We want to be a millionaire. Once we become a millionaire, some of us want more. Some of us don’t. But once you hit the first number you begin to make decisions in your life about how you might get to the next number or just use what you have to make your life (and possibly the life of others) better.

Others set goals and define success and achievement in any number of ways. In no cases do any of them examine the tax rate. In fact, I would be willing to bet that 99pct of us completely ignore the tax rate. Why ? Because we know that the rewards we all value the most came as the result of our efforts. Something that no tax rate is going to take away from us.

 The risk of starting a business . The risk of making an investment in the sweat equity of someone else’s efforts. The risk of starting a charity. The risk of taking a new job. The risk of adding a new employee, etc, etc, etc.  I have NEVER met a motivated person  who has said they would not chase their goals  because of tax rates.

Personal achievement is not the only motivating factor that over-rides taxation.  Business to business competition ALWAYS over-rides taxation. If you own or run a business you have to best your competitors.  As long as they pay under the same tax structure as your business, it’s all about who can do a better job. Not what the tax rate is.

Of course none of this is going to stop big companies from arguing that higher taxes impacts job creation. Of course they are going to argue it. The less they pay in taxes, the higher their earnings per share and the greater the value of their stock and options.  If a big company needs employees to stay competitive in their industry(s) you better believe they are going to hire that person no matter what it takes. They will find the money some how. Even if it means lowering their political contributions and lobbying costs or bringing in cash held overseas.

This is a country that competes to win. That is not going to change.

In fact, follow this logic. Its counter intuitive, but its absolutely true.  The higher the tax rate on income the more risks us money chasers have to take in order to hit our number.  If you want that number, you are going to go for it. Period, end of story. More risk, more companies started, more people hired.

3a. Let Me Be Clear

I am not advocating that we raise taxes for everyone. I think that is a huge mistake.  I do think billionaires should pay more. We have benefited the most financially from this great country, and it is the right thing to do to give more back in a time of need.  I believe those of  us who have achieved windfalls in the stockmarket should pay more as well.  My tax rate back in 2000 was far greater than today, and I had no problem with it. My tax rate when I sold my first company in 1990 was even higher. I had no problem with it.  Nor should any entrepreneur or investor who makes the big score. As I said in my last blog post, it’s a great problem to have.

Do I realize that much  of the incremental tax money I send to the Treasury is going to be wasted ? Yes. Do I realize that after all the bureaucracy and overhead associated with running our government and the programs it creates that probably less than 50pct of tax money reaches the programs that the money is intended to support ? Yes. There is no question we are throwing good money after bad. There is no question that something needs to be done and I believe transparency will help solve this problem.

HOWEVER,  if money is going to be wasted by our government, it is better that Mark Cuban, Warren Buffet’s and other mega rich people’s money be wasted than YOUR money be wasted.  Agree ?

My point here is to say that the argument that higher taxes are a disincentive is very wrong.  The argument we should be making against taxes is that the government does a very, very poor job of effectively distributing our tax dollars where they are needed. Lets stick to reality rather than trying to make dogmatic proclamations that are incorrect.

4.  Tear Down Foreclosed Houses.

There is no question that the housing market has a huge impact on the economy.  There is also no question that the housing market is one of supply and demand. There is also no question that the government owns hundreds of thousands of foreclosed homes and growing. Every day those homes cost money to maintain and service. It’s expensive and they hold down housing prices. The solution ? Tear them down.

Tearing down foreclosed homes by the hundreds of thousands will be the ultimate infrastructure project. Thousands of jobs bulldozing and clearing homes. Reduction in inventories. Reduction in overhead to service the vacant homes. The quicker you take the homes off the market, the sooner the market for new and used homes will recover and prices will go up. I had been planning on blogging about this several months ago, but Time.com beat me too it . http://www.time.com/time/magazine/article/0,9171,2090368,00.html .

Bottom line is that best way to build up the housing market is to tear down every foreclosed home owned by government agencies. It will not only energize the housing market, but the process of tearing down the homes will create jobs for less educated/skilled labor.

5. Spending Money on Infrastructure/Infrastructure Bank

Speaking of infrastructure. I was watching a talking head show where an “expert” commented that the Chinese proved out the value of spending on infrastructure. It got me thinking about whether or not spending on Infrastructure or funding an Infrastructure Bank is a good idea or not. I’m not sure where I come out on this. Below is what I was thinking. I’m curious what everyone else’s thoughts are on what’s below:

In the case of China, They spent . The economy grew.  Correct, but very misleading, but also very informative.  Infrastructure spending is VERY BENEFICIAL when the spending creates new commerce opportunities. So in China, when roads were built where there previously had not been a road, thats a good thing. It enables commerce. We have seen it in the US with Dams, Highways, Bridges and more.

With the possible exception of  the enhancement and building of schools, the only infrastructure investment that makes sense is where COMMERCE THAT WAS NOT PREVIOUSLY ABLE IS NOW ENABLED BY NEW INFRASTRUCTURE.

The problem in the USA is that those opportunities are few and far between.  We have been there and done that. The BIGGER PROBLEM WITH INFRASTRUCTURE is that in the name of creating jobs we actually inhibit commerce and possibly cost jobs. How ? When we rebuild or expand roads as a way of creating jobs, what happens ? We shut down or reduce the traffic on the roads to be rebuilt. The net effect is that during the construction period we CREATE PROBLEMS rather than solve them. We slow down commutes. Which costs people valuable time (and yes time is still money), wastes gas/oil/energy as we sit in traffic and forces traffic to streets not designed for the additional traffic. Not Good. The same could be said with building /bridge remodels or updates and other projects.  We all want to see the potholes in our streets filled, but now is not the time to do it, and federal funding is not the way to pay for it.

The bottom line is that we have to understand the difference between Maintenance and Infrastructure. Infrastructure creates opportunity where there was none. Maintenance gets things back to where they were.  You INVEST in infrastructure when you can see a return. You SPEND money on maintenance when you not only have the available funds to do so, but also the ability to withstand the downtime and negative productivity impact that comes with the impact of the maintenance work.  Yes there are times when you need maintenance to return to a steady business state (ie your computer is broken or safety is an issue with a bridge), but again those have an obvious return.

We have to know the difference and the right time to spend . Otherwise a well intentioned availability of capital not only won’t generate a positive return, but could have a negative  local impact.

That is what I was thinking. What do you all think ?

6. Bureaucracy and Paperwork is the Greatest Tax on Small Business 

If there is one thing obvious from this administration , its that they don’t understand entrepreneurs and small business.  President Obama happily has the CEOs of major multi-national corporations who have never started a business in their lives advising him.  I could be wrong be I don’t believe he understands how businesses are started or how small businesses are run.  A 1 year tax credit is not going to create jobs.  No company is going to hire a new full time employee because of a 1 year tax credit.  Has the President ever seen what it costs to fire someone and potentially pay them after they are gone ? Either the demand for that employee is there or it is not. No one hires because of a single year tax credit.

Do the President and Speaker of the House  know that  every little modification to the tax laws is a tax itself because it requires hiring a professional to help navigate the taxation and human resources mine field ? How much fun would it be to make the President deal with payroll and HR issues for a 25 or 50 person company for a couple months :)

I wish President Obama and Speaker Boehner could have come to the set of Shark Tank to watch us film the upcoming season.  Over the course of 12 long days we sat and listened to more than 70 entrepreneurs come in and pitch their businesses to us. Some were well on their way to success and were looking for some expertise. Some needed capital and expertise that they couldn’t get elsewhere. Some had their backs up against the wall for any number of reasons and faced losing their dreams.  Each entrepreneur had a reason to be on Shark Tank and  was on the carpet being peppered with questions by myself and my fellow Sharks as we decided whether or not to invest.  I can tell you that dealing with the costs of overwhelming bureaucracy was always a far greater problem than taxation. Why  ? Because taxes come AFTER PROFITS.  The price of dealing with bureaucracy, patents, professional fees and of course competition  had a far nastier impact on their ability to succeed than tax rates.  Out of those pitches, I invested in more than  a few companies, and on not one did I ask them  to guess what their after tax profits would be. Yet for some reason Congress and the President seem fixated on tax rates as the pivot point for creating jobs.  It is not.

Someone in a position of power in Washington needs to start paying more than lip service to the needs of entrepreneurs and small businesses. They are where growth in jobs will come from and more importantly where “the next big thing” that will accelerate us out this economic malaise will come from as well.

Mr. President, Speaker of the House Boehner, if either of both of you would like a private screening of our pitches so you can see first hand what the real business world is all about, I’m sure I can work something out with ABC ….:)

In conclusion… these are all just streams of thought. What does everyone think ? I’m open to learning more on all of these topics.

TIA

m

The Most Patriotic Thing You Can Do

Bust your ass and get rich.

Make a boatload of money. Pay your taxes. Lots of taxes. Hire people. Train people. Pay people. Spend money on rent, equipment, services. Pay more taxes.

When you make a shitload of money. Do something positive with it. If you are smart enough to make it, you will be smart enough to know where to put it to work.

I don’t care what anyone says. Being rich is a good thing. Not just in the obvious sense of benefiting you and your family, but in the broader sense.  Profits are not a zero sum game. The more you make the more of a financial impact you can have.

I’m not against government involvement in times of need. I am for recognizing that  big public companies will  continue to cut jobs in an effort to prop up stock prices, which in turn stimulates the need for more government involvement.  Every cut job by the big companies extracts a cost on the American people in one way or another.

Entrepreneurs are needed to create and grow companies to absorb those people in new jobs. If entrepreneurs don’t create those jobs, the government ends up having to spend more money to help them one way or another.

So be Patriotic. Go out there and get rich. Get so obnoxiously rich that when that tax bill comes , your first thought will be to choke on how big a check you have to write. Your 2nd thought will be “what a great problem to have”, and your 3rd should be a recognition that in paying your taxes you are helping to support millions of Americans that are not as fortunate as you.

In these times of “The Great Recession” we shouldn’t be trying to shift the benefits of wealth behind some curtain. We should be celebrating and encouraging people to make as much money as they can. Profits equal tax money. While some people might find it distasteful to pay taxes. I don’t. I find it Patriotic.

I’m not saying that the government’s use of tax money is the most efficient use of our hard-earned capital. It obviously is not. In a perfect world, there would be a better option. We don’t live in a perfect world. We don’t live in a perfect time. We live in a time where the government plays a big role in an effort to help lead us out this Great Recession. That’s reality.

So I will repeat my point. Get out there and make a boatload of money. Enjoy the shit out your money. Pay your taxes.

It’s the most Patriotic thing you can do.

My Colonoscopy

My Colonoscopy

Jun 14th 2007 11:20AM

I usually don’t talk about personal issues, but I thought this was important to share.

I’m getting to that age where it pays to be proactive and start getting tested for the myriad of things that can go wrong with my body. One of the things I wanted to get over with is a check for colon cancer. Although I’m officially younger than the “suggested age” for a colonoscopy, I wanted to get it out of the way. I had read and heard too many stories about people who found polyps and how if “they had only caught them a little sooner” it would be no big deal to remove them. So I set my appointment and went for it.

Like every guy, the thought of being violated by a long tube is at the very bottom of the list of things I want to do on a summer day. I could live with having to take all the laxatives that lead up to the procedure, That’s just more time to get my reading done. But the tube up the outdoor, that’s scary.

Well this morning was the morning. I had officially lost 4 pounds to the laxative over the past 24 hours and was surprisingly not hungry after going without food for the past 24 hours as I got to the hospital at the prime time of 7am.

I was definitely nervous. Despite doctors and nurses telling me it would be a breeze, I was naturally skeptical.

A breeze was an overstatement. I can honestly say that if it made medical sense to get one done every year, i would have no problem with it. It was easy and breezy :) .

Once I got into the Gastro Room where they did these, they told me that they were going to knock me out, and I would get a nap and wake up like nothing happened . They were right. One minute Im talking rugby, the next I’m waking up, picking up the conversation where I left off and being told to “dispell the air in my system”.

No where else can you rip off some huge farts and have 3 nurses and a doctor, while maintaining a very professional demeanor, tell you that you aren’t done yet and demand that you let loose a few more. Then it was up to get dressed and out the door so my wife could give me a ride home.

Now, about an hour later I’m obviously back at it.

I’m writing this post because I hated the fact that I was afraid of getting a colonoscopy. It honestly scared me. I don’t like hospitals. I don’t like entries into exit lanes and its scary as shit that they could find something. In other words I was a pussy when I shouldn’t have been.

Bottomline is that your life just might depend on getting tested for colon cancer. There is absolutely nothing to be afraid of. It’s truly easy and breezy. Do it.

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