One Million Dollars

Now that The Apprentice is moving to Monday nights and riding on the coattails of NBC’s newest hit, Deal or No Deal, the Donald is doing the right thing and trying to get a viewership boost from an appearance on the Howie Mandel hosted show.

Of course, being the fun loving guy that I am, and as someone who is always trying to look out for the best interests of Donald Trump, I have decided to make an open offer to Howie Mandel.

Howie, if you can get Mr Trump to pull a rubber glove completely over his head and blow it up on your show, not only will I watch it, I will donate 1 million dollars to the charity of your choice.

What could be better than that ? Money for a great cause that you love. For the Donald, the thing he loves more than anything, bragging rights. Is there any doubt that by Tuesday afternoon he would be able to say that he was responsible for the most watched television show in the history of TV ?

Is it possible that any human being on the planet would be able to resist watching Donald Trump blow up a rubber glove over his head ? I dont think so. Combatants around the world would lay down their arms and all enjoy a moment of shared laughter.

I dont have the power to cause the end to wars. If only for a moment. You do Donald.

I dont have the power to create the unquestionable number one moment in TV history You do Donald.

Sieze the moment Donald.

Be a mensch Howie. History awaits you !

86 thoughts on “One Million Dollars

  1. Hey Mark,

    I have to say this seems like somewhat of a hobson’s choice for big Don. There is no way in hell he would do something that would leave his hair open to such exposure. I wonder if that was your aim?

    Comment by Gareth -

  2. Et en voila encore un !

    j’espere que la version européenne aura autant de succées que la version originale

    Comment by mic -

  3. Donald Trump didn’t make news for using a TV show last week as a setting to pull a rubber glove over his head. But Trump did use a TV appearance yesterday to make a joke about dating his daughter. He is currently featured on DrudgeReport now for making the weird comment–

    Comment by John -

  4. In addition to the Forbes 400, Donald Trump can add to his resume inclusion on another list–

    Comment by John -

  5. Mark,

    Do you remember late 80s wrestling bad guy Ted “the Million Dollar Man” DiBiase? He said everyone has a price. What you’ve done here is to see what price Donald Trump puts on his dignity. I’m sad to say it’s probably worth more than a million dollars to a charity Howie Mandel selects, even if it would be your money. Still, I think you’ve hit on something here.

    This post touches on the essence of why people watch reality telelvision. You are perhaps the best suited man on earth to preside over a show where washed up celebrities and media hangers on humiliate themselves for money. I expand on the thought a little bit at my site. My examples are extreme, for humor’s sake, but the concept is workable. This would be event television, and you are the one who can make it happen.

    Love your blog by the way.


    Comment by Michael -

  6. Mark,
    You are the man. This is one of the funniest things I have ever heard! …and not only that you are attempting to give $1mm to charity.
    How can anyone criticize you for that?

    Comment by Chris -

  7. Hi Mark:

    It seems you have a penchant to bash Donald at your blog.

    Do you have a war going on with him? Why are you bashing him always? I have not heard or read Donald bashing you anywhere.

    He was on Letterman’s Late night show a week ago, and was very good and never once did he say anything bad about anyone, including you.

    Your bashing has become too much now that I am thinking of phoning or e-mailing him to find out what he has done to you.

    You say you will throw a million dollars at any of Howies charities if Donald goes on his show to make fun of himself.

    That is a pathetic thing coming from an intelligent rich billionaire like you.

    It seems you made some much money and don’t know what to do with it anymore.

    When you bash Donald, you’re bashing millions of his fans too and they will all be responding to your antagonism.

    Why be antagonistic when you can be friendly?

    Ikey Benney

    Comment by Business opportunity books -

  8. If you saw the show Las Vegas this Friday which is on after deal or no deal, Howie Mandel made a cameo and someone comes up to him, puts a rubber glove over his head and blows it up.

    Comment by Barry G -

  9. Mark,

    I enjoy your blog and have learned alot from it. This request is rather funny, but my respect for you has gone down. The show is prerecorded and he couldn’t have responded to this request that you made the day before airing, even if he had wanted to. Did you consider that? Funny, but a bit hollow. I expect more from you, Mark.

    Comment by Patty Coats -

  10. This is the same thing to Mark, as you offering your buddy $5 to do something stupid. Mark just has more money and plays with bigger stakes. Back in college, I offered $10 to a friend if he would stand up in the Waffle House Restaurant and auction off his waffles. The place was packed and he did it. Funniest thing EVER! I’ve been kicked out of Waffle House! Who else can say that???

    Comment by Daily Deals -

  11. Mark,

    Listen, the Benefactor was a HUGE FLOP and the Apprentice has been a HUGE HIT for several years now. It’s over, you took on the Donald (ironically by trying to ride his coattails) and failed … miserably … just let it go, do any of us care anymore? Honestly. Your Alpha-male inferiority complex has really started to rear its ugly-head on this blog … I used to be a huge fan of yours but now this latest entry has confirmed that this will be the last time I tune in to your blog … between your Nash, Trump and Jackson rants, it’s clear that your attention-whoring needs to stop and the ‘D’ list celebrity status that goes with it.

    If you want good PR, just take that million now and donate it to a worthwhile charity … instead of making a pathetic attempt to humiliate a man you soundly defeated you in similar business ventures.

    Good luck in the future Mark …

    Comment by George -

  12. Too Funny Mark,

    The world needs more Billionaires like you. Do you ever go to any of these “high society parties” in Palm Beach and that like Trump? Please share with us some funny stories if you do.

    Take Care


    Comment by Kris -

  13. What a deal. One Million for that footage seems cheap, but how will “The Donald”‘s hair handle the pressure?

    Comment by Brad Cunningham -

  14. The genius of it is it’s automatically lose/lose for DT. Either he begrudginly does something on TV that he wants NO part of (an outright embarrasment that is completley opposite of his personality and demeanor) OR he snuffs at it and comes across as an uptight, greedy jerk who wouldnt sacrifice his pride for 10 seconds to get $1 million to charity. He’ll prob try to spin Mark as the bad guy in the media and call him immature, blah, blah. Whatever. Genius. Wish I was loaded and could do this kinda stuff to my enemies. (P.S. for the hair issue alone he wont do it)

    Comment by Corey -

  15. Could you get the glove to fit over his Ted Kennedy head?? zing…..

    Comment by Soccer is cool -

  16. I also see that show at TV, I think that is a comercial show for entertain the audiance. They got advertising for that show, But I don’t have ide how much DT got money from that TV show beside the famous name.

    Comment by ReS -

  17. “Is it possible that any human being on the planet would be able to resist watching Donald Trump blow up a rubber glove over his head?”

    Yes. I wouldn’t be interested in it at all.

    Comment by monster man -

  18. Too bad Donald didn’t take the bet!

    Comment by David Ward -

  19. Seems kinda manipulative and frivolous. I dunno. Just donate the money to a charity. Who cares about Donald? Blah.

    Comment by Kelly -

  20. In the words of Harry from Dumb and Dumber…Mark, my man, just when I thought you couldn’t get any dumber, you go and do something like this… and totally redeem yourself!

    Major ups.

    Comment by Will Nomikos -

  21. MC,

    That’s sweet ! What an awesome challenge and a great cause. If I were the Trumpster I’d be all over it.

    You da man!

    Joey Love

    Comment by Joey Love -

  22. Interesting suggestion, Mark. Here’s one that’s even more outrageous: Why don’t you just give a million dollars to the charity of YOUR choice? (What’s the matter? No promise of worldwide attention for helping those in need? Yeah, stupid idea. Forget it.)

    Comment by Bru-Hed -

  23. I have been a Mavs fan since I was a little kid. Cuban has put the Mavs on the map and Dallas for that matter. It is about damn time someone sticks up for Big D instead of hiding in the shadows when comments from New York and L.A. rip the Mavs. I am looking forward to Cubans response when Chuck makes some more of his lame studdering comments. Chuck is entertaining but his schtick is getting a little old. He knows A LOT about winning championships so we should all wait and hear the comments he will have Thursday. I think Chuck needs to share some of his comments on a professional golf swing.

    Comment by Josh Sullivan -

  24. Being a genius is simply being good at something with repetition and knowledge. Being gifted is having an innate talent for something. Lastly, hot air doesn’t just flow one way.

    Comment by Dunciad -

  25. Someone tell me if the Apprentice was on last night ON mONDAY? I’ll be pissed if I missed it. I didn’t think the next season was starting until Spring.

    All of this crap on TV now and I miss one of the few good shows.; Damn America.

    Comment by Sexyboy -

  26. The apprentice has no chance of competing with 24 on Fox. Not a chance. Next week 24 is in for a two hour episode. I bet the ratings are worse than this week.

    Comment by Justin -

  27. Trump’s hair can’t take the rubber glove action. Having seen that hair up close, it’s not made for anything. He takes an hour to put on and remove a baseball cap.

    You should do another kinda “reality show” except call it “Foghoen” where people attempt to hang with you during Mavs games – can they get under the ref’s skin without doing anything tossable?

    And with Trumps less than spectacular ratings from last night, you really should send him a muffin basket. The only thing keeping him afloat is A&E’s Rollergirls.

    Comment by Joe Corey -

  28. I guess the Donald didn’t want your money

    Comment by funny shirt guy -

  29. Freaking brilliant. The Don just might go for it too. Looks like I’m going to have to fire up the TiVO so I don’t miss it.

    Comment by Jason Palmer -

  30. I thought Donald might actually take Mark up on his offer when I saw him walk out on Deal or No Deal last night. Too bad for all of us that he didn’t. Mark should totally bring back another season of the Benefactor! Maybe have some kind of Mavericks apprentice. Someone who loves basketball, loves the Mavs, who can help the team with the media, traveling, marketing. Mark Cuban needs to be on TV more often.

    Comment by Melinda -

  31. What I’d like to see is Howie pull Trump’s hair over his own head.

    Comment by Steve Tatham -

  32. Does anyone look more awkward in recreational clothes than Donald Trump. Have Mr. Trump wear a full-fledged Mavericks outfit as he blows the rubber glove on his head and I will also donate $1 million dollars. Of course, I will need to borrow that amount from Mr. Cuban. Just imagine Mr. Trump in a Mavericks NBA outfit … and you thought Shawn Bradley looked awkward.

    Comment by wonki -

  33. That’s hilarious!!!

    P.S. Thanks Mark for someone in the media actually willing to stand up to the brand “trump”

    I love the last challenge you made him, on wether or not to compare financal statements!!!

    YOU RULE!!!!!!!

    Comment by Greg -

  34. for everyone coming down on mark, the sad truth is this: dt is such a media hungry whore that, he would prob jump at it if no one would watch him do it, eventho he doesnt really need the mil.

    in anycase, i agree w/ david how about another season of the benefactor? it was a really good show and much better than the apprentice. i dont think it was given a sufficient amount of time for people to catch, it should have at least been two seasons, bring the show back.

    Comment by patricia -

  35. for everyone coming down on mark, the sad truth is this: dt is such a media hungry whore that, he would prob jump at it if no one would watch him do it, eventho he doesnt really need the mil.

    Comment by patricia -

  36. i agree w/ david how about another season of the benefactor? it was a really good show, you all needed to give it time to catch on. bring the show back.

    Comment by patricia -

  37. Donald Trump might have struggled in his appearance on “No Deal” given that he was unable to successfully multiply 17 by 6 when he was on the “Howard Stern Show” today– (See section entitled “It doesn’t add up.”)

    Comment by John -

  38. “Riding the coattails of Deal or No Deal”

    What, I’ve never even heard of that show. My guess is it is the other way around with that show. Face it, the apprentice is a big hit. I can understand saying that when “Friends” was on, but not now. I’m not one that ever watches reality TV as most of those people are beneath me and should not even be considered real people, but “The Apprentice” is great.

    Comment by Sexyboy -

  39. The Pittsburgh Penguins are for sale and could be had for about $100M.
    There is a ground swell of support growing in this city to bring an NBA franchise to the region. The possibility to make that a reality is not that far fetched an idea. Would love to discuss the possibilities.
    Good luck and God bless,
    Jeffrey L. Wilds

    Comment by Jeffrey Wilds -

  40. Boo! not even a mention

    Comment by Spencer -

  41. Donald Trump already has inflated rubber on his head and it has a crazy ass looking wig on it.

    Comment by Charity -

  42. I love Jason, on post 39, with his not-so-subtle attempt at plugging his startup for Cuban. Maybe he’ll throw 200k your way to help – he’s a businessman always looking for something to invest in!

    Comment by kissing ass -

  43. LMAO! Finally, a rich guy who doesn’t have a corn cob up his ass. I love it! I think i’ll have to keep an eye on these blogs, funny stuff.

    Now to find the one where you “OWN” Phil =P

    Comment by Spencer -

  44. I would rather Phil Jackson fill up the rubber glove with his hot air to save Mr. Trumps lungs.

    Just a thought,


    Comment by Al Renteria -

  45. and if all else fails, you can donate 1 million dollars to the charity of me.

    Comment by Shannon -

  46. We’re bootstrapping a startup right now and cash is incredibly tight but I’d be willing to donate some funds to make this happen too!

    I wonder if his toilet bowl swishee hairstyle will come completely undone or if his super glue based hairspray will be able to keep it in place… can’t wait to see what happens.

    Comment by Jason -

  47. Mark –
    I’ve spent countless hours wondering why there aren’t more wildly wealthy individuals paying big bucks just to see ridiculous things. If your bank account is nearly infinite, it just makes sense that you should throw gobs of money around for your own amusement. Have you ever filled a swimming pool with Jello? If not, you should.

    Comment by Chris -

  48. So basically Mark wants to donate 1 million to some charity only if Donald Trump humiliates himself.

    Mark, your’re brilliant and rich, but can you be a little more mature here? Does this really make you feel good?

    Comment by Dan Laettner -

  49. Oh! Scribe! – Read on…

    Comment by thepoetryman -

  50. If the urge to throw money at funny, quirky projects is a regular one, please visit for a project that offers several tax benefits and is worthy of such investment. There’s plenty more where that came from. Go get ’em Mark!

    Comment by Catherine E. Rubey -

  51. If the urge to throw money at funny, quirky projects is a regular one, please visit for a project that offers several tax benefits and is worthy of such investment. There’s plenty more where that came from. Go get ’em Mark!

    Comment by Catherine E. Rubey -

  52. Jeez – apparently when a billionaire makes a joke we’re not allowed to think it’s funny?

    We all make these exact types of bets, waigers, practical jokes, and so on everyday with our friends… this is just the same, except there’s a platform.

    If you are hung up on the $1M, or the sincerity of the bet, or the alterior motives… you’re over-complicating things. You’ve missed the point if you read this for anything more than a funny idea for a moment in television attached to what will ultimately be a good cause. The platform is what inherently provides the publicity, money, personalities involved, etc….. not Mr. Cuban.

    But for the rudeness of some of these comments, I had to say something.

    Comment by Matt -

  53. Surely, you can think of something better to do with a spare 1M. There is very little I will tune into TV for, this is definitely not one of the few things I’d bother with. If it were Amanda Congdon, I might. But then I would tune into anything with Amanda.

    Comment by Michael Krolczyk -

  54. It will be even funnier if Donald’s hair piece comes off when he removes the glove from his head…

    Comment by Joey Nemastil -

  55. If Howie can figure out how to get a rubber glove over Donald’s fro, He deserves the Million. Keep it Mark, your a true role-model.

    Comment by Michael Lucas -

  56. Hey Mark, I am sure that you make lot of donations to charity given your level of wealth. Is this an additional $1M or are you just reallocating a normal donation in the name of generating buzz? How sincere is your offer? I mean, do you really have such an inferiority complex that you need another human to humiliate themselves on public TV in order fulfill your claim of making a charitable donation. I would hope that a person of your wealth and stature wouldn’t need to make these types of offers to better humanity. I also hope that some charity isn’t going to suffer if Donald Trump refuses your offer. Personally, I think it sets a very bad precedent.

    Comment by Andy -

  57. I have noticed it in much smaller amounts then I have expected reading your blog. But this entry confirms all my suspicions that you are a certified geek. Gotta let your nutz hang.

    Comment by Dirty Muffin -

  58. If Howie makes Donald blow up a CONDOM over his head and I will personally match Mark’s million dollar donation to charity (if I had a million). Ha! Ha!

    I bet Trump comes back with something funnier for Cuban to do and the silly PR will go on for weeks. Donald should counter Mark with a bungee jumping challenge as Mark chickend out on his show to jump. I think Mark would step to the challenge, guzzle some Patron (liquid courgage), spend a couple million on engineers to secure the jump, then do it. 2 million to charity if they both do it…not bad.

    Once again, The Donald will have succeeding at more free PR for his show at Mark’s expense. But Mark doesnt care, He likes the free press too!

    Have fun boys…maybe a fart lighting contest is in order between you two silly boys!


    Comment by Sean -

  59. I agree with V Vincent Donald Trump owns you. Sometimes you get a little full of yourself.

    Comment by deborah merrick -

  60. Just a question from someone who doesn’t score a distinction in english all the time (english not my 1st language), what is “pull a rubber glove completely over his head and blow it up on your show” mean?

    Is there some hidden phrase meaning or was Mark Cuban saying it literally?

    Comment by Explode -

  61. If this actually happens, I will definitely be watching. Anything that embarrasses the Donald is high on my list of entertainment.

    BTW, Mark, I’m moving to Dallas in August to start my legal career and I’ll thankfully be able to come to more Mav’s games. It’s a bit of a trip to come up from Austin for a game, but I always enjoyed the games when I was in undergrad at TCU. You really know how to put on a show.

    Comment by Miguel -


    Does that have a familiar ring to it ??
    Do you go to sleep at night dreaming of ways to stick it to Trump ?

    Is any of this ringing a bell Mark? The same way you sounded off about Phil Jackson making unsolicited comments about you, you are talking about Trump. Don’t be such a hypocrite ? Last I saw it, Donald and Martha were having their own wars of word and neither mentioned your name.

    Comment by V Vincent -

  63. I’d like to see it, just to see what it does to his hair…Trump’s hair can ONLY get better!

    Comment by pbg -

  64. I say raise the donation to $1.5 million and make Trump wear a 2006 NBA Champions Dallas Maverick’s jersey while he does it. Just a thought. You could even give $2 million and let Dirk deliver it on stage. Maybe that would be the marketing push Dirk needs to make the starting lineup on the All Star team.

    Comment by Jason -

  65. Get a life. What’s with the whole Donald thing? You imitated his show and it was a bust. Just because you have more money than most people you think you are better than he is? Are you just upset that your ripoff of his show wasn’t a success? Maybe you can spend the extra time focusing on a ring.

    Comment by Brett -

  66. Okay, it’s official, you’ve got TOO MUCH MONEY Mark!

    Comment by Dan Buell -

  67. In a sense, you’ve asked (in a great way) him to risk the image of cool savvy real estate mogul for a mere charity donation (doesn’t pad his pockets.) The risk is that he may show who he really is – self-promoting brilliant marketer who can make a bunch of money creating worthless things based solely on his name, “Trump”.

    You continue to invest in innovation… the Donald continues to invest in publicizing himself. Although it would be hilarious, the Donald is too smart to consider.

    Comment by Brad Respess -

  68. Mr. Cuban,
    I heard that you helped pay your way through IU giving dance lessons. Is this true, and would you consider being on the next season of “Dancing with the Stars”?

    Comment by Rick -

  69. Can’t you just drop it with the DT thing? This is old. Donate the million to a charity and drop this….

    Comment by Tony -

  70. (Edit Version)

    Meanwhile, back at the TRUMP UNIVERSITY student chatroom….

    MARK CUBEFAN: ….”Donald Trump will probably boast the ‘Grandest Most Luxurious’ blow job ever performed in television history.”

    MARTHA STEWSTIR: ….”Well, I just hope THE DONALD remembers to wear that rubber….glove I gave him.”

    MARK CUBEFAN: ….”I hope it isn’t too big for his…….ego.”

    Jim Parham ~ Yuba City, CA

    Comment by StockMaverick -

  71. doodle,

    you want bargain??

    i’ll do it for 100k.

    Comment by flambeee -

  72. Very nice Mark! I have to say that i would love to see DT with a rubber glove over his mug. I bet he does it too. BTW, GO MAVS!!!

    Comment by Nick Cirksena -

  73. brilliant. i love it.

    Comment by Amy -

  74. Maybe I’m just getting old (at the ripe old age of 24), but this seems like a huge waste of time and effort on everyone’s part (kind of like the Olympic closing ceremonies). Usually Mr. Cuban and the Mavs can give me good reason to take a break from my studies, but this will certainly not be the case if DT goes through with this. It’s cool, I guess, but I think you could find a lot more entertaining things out there for $1 million. In my estimation, this would have to the least entertaining idea Mr. Cuban has publicly put forth thus far. But hey, that’s just my opinion

    Comment by Dave -

  75. Meanwhile, back at the TRUMP UNIVERSITY student chatroom….

    MARK CUBEFAN: ….”Donald Trump will probably boast the ‘Grandest Most Luxurious’ blow job ever performed in television history.”

    MARTHA STEWSTIR: ….”Well, at least THE DONALD will be wearing a rubber…er…glove!”

    Jim Parham
    Yuba City, CA

    Comment by StockMaverick -

  76. As an experimental backdrop, the “No Deal” game has attracted attention from the “Wall Street Journal” and (U. of C economist/”Freakonomics” co-author) Steve Levitt. (At first I thought the contrived setting was such that any observed behavior couldn’t reasonably be generalized. But many psychology experiments done in formal academic settings are simply self-reported survey responses by the students of a psychology professor. Despite a pretense of doing so, I’m not sure the latter is necessarily getting any closer to detecting universal truths.)

    What the “Wall Street Journal” had to say–

    What Steve Levitt wrote–

    Comment by John -

  77. The only way DT would ever go along with it is if he got to pocket the million dollars…

    Comment by Russ -

  78. Mark,
    If Howie could get Martha Stewart to be the one to bust the ballon once THE DONALD got it blown up.

    Comment by Nellie -

  79. Mark,
    As always you are cracking me up.
    I lived in the Big-D when you first bought the Mavs and about 4 years ago I got transferred to Atlanta. WOW! Talk about B-Ball ownership that doesnt have a clue. I love your enthusiasm.

    I saw Howie do that bit live (now Im dating myself) but I cant think of anything much funnier than the Don doing it.

    The question is, would his hair come off with the glove?

    Anyway, Keep doing what you do.

    War Mavericks (Hey Maybe you could convince Rome to make the move to Sirius while you’re at it)


    Comment by Daryl Goard -

  80. That’s a great bet! I am huge fan of both your’s and DT. By the way, I really liked your show, The Benefactor. Any chance of you doing another season ? It was corny but it was all about life lessons and I really respected that.

    Comment by David Ward -

  81. I am not even a mavs fan, but I love reading your stuff. You are by far the best owner in sports history. You are makeing it hard for me to root against the mavs. Go Mavs!

    Comment by George -

  82. Ok dude, you are now one of the funniest dudes around. I’m busting up hard. Congrats!

    Comment by Bret -

  83. Ok dude, you are now one of the funniest dudes around. I’m busting up hard. Congrats!

    Comment by Bret -

  84. Adam: ouch.

    Comment by scott -

  85. Or another ruse to keep the name Mark Cuban in the press, whether it happens or not this will get headlines without really achieving anything.

    No disrespect meant since I hear you admire her, but what exactly is the point of becoming the Paris Hilton of the Forbes 400?

    Comment by Adam -

  86. The problem I see with this bet is that Donald Trump is full of so much hot air, he will probably float away after inflating the rubber-glove. Then his ratings will probably rise faster than his hot-air ascension, and he’ll try to take credit saying it was his idea, that he’s a genious, etc. … what a bore!

    Comment by greg -

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