The San Antonio Side of Things – From the SA News – Express

even the people
at the San Antonio Paper dont think the citizens of SA have much of a sense of humor. But thats in the past
now.

Time to lighten up. Plan your monday night to be in front of the tube. Put on your Mavs jersey , get all your friends
together, call everyone you know with a TV Diary or People Meter for TV Ratings and tell them to turn it to TNT, and
get fired up for the Rumble by the Riverwalk.

And dont forget to set your PVR to record the game as well. This way you can replay every shot. Argue every call.
Dispute every conspiracy theory.

Back to San Antonio’s Sense of Humor.. In case you missed it:

Bob Richter

Rant on Dallas tongue-in-cheek

At least two Express-News readers were appalled with staff writer Amy Dorsett’s Page 1 story Tuesday No real
comparison

The story was a tongue-in-cheek look at the two cities, whose professional basketball teams will be locked in
mortal combat until one of them wins four games. But, as it often is with tongue-in-cheek humor, satire and puns, not
everyone gets it. It is a chance you take as a writer.

“It is really terrible to insult a beautiful city like Dallas,” said Barbara, who described herself as a person
who has lived in and loves both Dallas and San Antonio, the latter of which came out on top in Dorsett’s
comparison.

“I don’t think it’s funny,” Barbara said. “I think it’s mean-spirited. Not everyone thinks that trashing another
Texas city is funny.”

Another reader said she was “appalled” by the story, but didn’t leave her name on my voice mail.

Dorsett’s response: “It was definitely tongue-in-cheek, meant to be interpreted as a look at the rivalry between
San Antonio and Dallas, and the story was so over-the-top, I would hope the vast majority of readers saw it that
way.”

Dorsett also offered one of the kudos she received from a happier reader:

“One of the most perceptive and lignt-hearted pieces of reading in a long time.

“No, a very long time.

“You don’t suppose (Express-News Editor Robert) Rivard would let you do a regular column, do you?

“Even if you promised to keep it pun-free?

“Even an occasional column?

“Anyway, thanks for brightening my day.”

Did anyone else get it or not get it?

************Take my word Bob, they didnt get it. Tongue in cheek
humor doesnt resonate in The Riverwalk City ***********. .. Did I just say something that will get me booed louder ?
Dang.🙂

here is the
article for those who didnt see
it

Express-News Staff Writer

Sure, Dallas had a popular prime-time soap opera that left a burning question on everyone’s mind who did shoot
J.R.? and the city is home to swanky shops, restaurants and art. But chin up, San Antonio, here’s one thing Big D
has never been able to lay its well-manicured hands on:

The Larry O’Brien trophy.

You know the one, the golden ball and hoop statuette the NBA bestows on its annual champion. The one that has
found its way to San Antonio three times.

As Game 2 of the Western Conference semifinals tips off tonight at 8:30 at the AT&T Center and this series
gets even more interesting, some are pausing around the water cooler to analyze the rivalry between these two Texas
metropolises: San Antonio, which has been called Fat City because of its love for tortillas and queso, and Dallas,
which is known for silicone, skyscrapers and stylin’ hairdos.

Or is it skyscraping hairdos?

Like, whatever, Sue Ellen.

Just call it the battle of Big Bellies and Big Chests no love lost. And let the Mutual Disdain Fest proceed,
with this shot across the bow from San Antonio car magnate and former Spurs owner B.J. “Red” McCombs:

“People live in San Antonio because they want to,” said McCombs, who helped lead a group of businessmen
that brought the Dallas Chaparrals to San Antonio in 1973, thus giving the NBA the Spurs. “People live in Dallas
because they have to.”

“Ninety percent of the people in Dallas would rather live in San Antonio.”

Though McCombs didn’t elaborate on why he thinks so many Dallas residents would rather call the Alamo City home,
let us do the honors for him. Dallas might not have an NBA championship trophy, but it does have these things that
San Antonio doesn’t:

Sprawl. This is the polite word used for having more suburbs than you can fit in an area code, which translates
roughly into one blade of grass for every 100 people.

Traffic. They come up with clever names for their heart-attack inducing mix of freeways. Mixmaster, anyone?

Mark Cuban. Let’s just say it’s fitting that he owns a team named the Mavericks. But he is, um, fun to
watch.

Dallas is about wearing heels and eye shadow while gardening or watching the gardener.

Psssh. Bunch of stuffed shirts.

San Antonio? This is a casual city: Guayaberas can be found everywhere from poolside to symphony concerts.

Want iconic architecture? We have the Alamo, the Cradle of Texas Liberty.

They have an enormous glass golf ball on a stick they like to call Reunion Tower. (And let’s not forget
Southfork.)

We have cascarones.

They have well, suffice it to say that confetti might get gummed up in all the hairspray.

Come to think of it, given all the inflated hair and busts in Dallas, some (not us, of course!) might wonder if
anything in that city is real or if it’s all just smoke and mirrored skyscrapers.

With all the differences between the two cities, there may be but one man who can unite them, who can serve as a
calming salve, a diplomat for the NBA.

You loved him when he wore the silver and black, when he helped the Spurs win their first championship. Surely,
though he serves as Dallas’ head coach, Avery Johnson won’t be shunned.

Or will he?

“Avery was a great favorite here,” Mayor Phil Hardberger said. “But he’s on the other side now, and as much as we
like him, I guess we’ll just have to beat him.”

Johnson agrees there is a very definite rivalry between Dallas and San Antonio, but he thinks it’s a good
thing.

“It’s great for Texas, it’s great for basketball, it’s great for the NBA,” he said. “Texas should be proud they
have two teams this year that won 60 games.”

Not to be picky, but for the record, Dallas won 60 regular season games; San Antonio claimed 63 in the win
column.

Of course, most San Antonians will eagerly say their city is better than Dallas.

“There’s no comparison,” said Sylvia Castillo, a strategic planner. “Dallas is sterile, uninviting and blah.
There’s no character, no history, no soul. It’s just buildings.”

Over lunch on Monday, Darrell Hickey and Jack Smith debated the merits of their cities. Hickey, an investment
adviser, has lived in Dallas almost his entire life while his father-in-law, Smith, has lived in both, but currently
calls San Antonio home.

“I like to visit San Antonio. It’s pretty, it’s nice, but I don’t know if I’d want to live here,” Hickey said.
“Dallas has a more cosmopolitan feel.”

Smith, retired from the military and a nursing career, doesn’t agree.

“Like everybody else says, San Antonio has a million-plus people, but it has a small-town feel. Everything’s
convenient and I like the people,” he said. “I like Dallas it’s my second choice in Texas but I’ve settled here
and I love it.”

San Antonians are justly proud of the Spurs’ three championships. Johnson is proud of that, too, and said he still
has the massive championship ring that he earned after the first championship.

He keeps it stashed away in a safe, but brings it out and puts it on every now and again, and he makes no bones
that he’d love to get another one from this season.

McCombs, predictably, thinks the spoils will once again go to San Antonio.

“I love Avery Johnson. He’s a wonderful man and he’ll be one of the greatest coaches in the NBA,” he said.

“In the meantime, we’re going to kick his butt.”

16 thoughts on “The San Antonio Side of Things – From the SA News – Express

  1. They say Dallas has no character,no history or any soul??…If Im not mistaken Dallas has “Americas Team” in the Cowboys for the NFL….we also have the 1999 Stanley cup champs in the Stars, and soon to be Western Conference semi-final champs, and future NBA champs in the Mavericks…Besides the Spurs, what else in sports do they have to cheer for in San Antonio???? NOTHING!!

    I think also after watching every game in this series, that every spurs player after a layup or after a jump shot…they look to the referees or they look to Popovich for sympathy or a desperation foul call (especially Bowen, Duncan and Ginobli). This is the NBA guys, if you wanna cry all game and get pity calls, Im sure the senior citzens Rec center has a game or two you can play in! Try Playing like grown men San Antonio!!!

    you can agree or disagree but thats my opinion.

    Comment by David -

  2. I’ve lived in SA, Austin, Houston and Waco and I’ve only met a handful of people that have a sense of humor, which, since it’s subjective, means people that can make me laugh. Neither the article nor the radio comments did. Even Don Rickles has actual jokes. If you want an NBA role model who does have a sense of humor, it’s John Salley. I can see why people say the “citizens of SA” have no sense of humor, and I can see why the same would be said about the citizens of Dallas. It’s because it’s true, and that applies to Amy and Mark, as well…or maybe they just know their audience.

    Comment by Keith -

  3. Hey, I wanted to comment on your other post, but the comments were off. Anyway, you were talking about getting the nation to care about the Spurs.

    Well, I live in NYC, and I’ll tell you that you make the games more exciting. I’m not trying to kiss your ass or anything, but the highlights on Sports Center and the fines from the NBA actually make me interested in this team more…

    Of course, if you could get Shaq, that would help too.

    Comment by blackjack expert -

  4. What does SA have that I can’t experience sitting in front of a ditch full of muddy rain water (sorry, lined with Algae) reading a Texas history book?? Besides, what do you have to look forward to after June?? Enjoy those cascarones!!

    Comment by Mercer -

  5. nice blog good job.

    Comment by Joseph Salomonsen -

  6. I must say i’ve been to both Dallas and San Antonio.

    My conclusionis that the airports have roughly the same amount of restaurants and shops.

    However, since my flight was delayed in san Antonio, i think i’ll give Dallas the edge.

    Comment by JR Ewing -

  7. Algae is better than muddy water???
    GROSS!!! So…Duncan is not the only parasite in San Antonio

    GO MAVS!!!!!

    Comment by Kristen -

  8. I lived in Dallas for 27 years on and off. I think the article is rather funny because much of what she says about Dallas is true.

    Go Mavs.

    Comment by Brant -

  9. The San Antonio Riverwalk is not dirty. The water is crystal clear. The reason why it has the dark color to it is because the algae lines the bottom giving the river a dark color.
    GO SPURS!!!!
    P.S. Please correct your previous statement about the water.

    Comment by Bradford -

  10. On a side note, did you read that crap Skip Bayless wrote on Page 2, ESPN. I seriously think the guy was hired to write ignorant stuff against the majority opinion on purpose, just to make people mad. I never read his “work” but did this time because it concerned the Mavericks and according to him a one-sided reffing matchup…. I guess he hasn’t watched any of the games as the refs have been terrible for both teams.

    Oh well, just wanted to put it to your attention.

    Comment by Beau Taylor -

  11. Monday is just an excuse to get hammered and laid.

    The comissioners office has already decided who is going to win this. They’ve already placed their bets offshore so we’ll see what happens.

    Guarantee with 1.22 seconds left in the gsme, it will either be tied or one team will be up by one point, then it will come down to one or two controversial calls by the zebra’s.

    Then 2 weeks from now, few will remeber what happened and the commisioners office will be doing the same thing for game 6 of the conference finals.

    Comment by JR Ewing -

  12. I have to say I’m pulling for the Mavericks. The Spurs were my childhood team growing up but I don’t like this Spurs team, they bitch too much. Remember how we used to say Tim Duncan played like a machine and showed no emotion, well now he hacks people and looks baffled for five minutes when a foul is called. I have to say Dirk has grown on me and I no longer consider him “soft” but as a true top five player in the league.

    With all that being said… Go Mavs!!

    Comment by Ron Jumper -

  13. Mark we all know that you weren’t serious about what you said about SA, You are a master at getting people fired up,thats what you do best.

    I just hope that the JET can come out and have a monster game and put the Spurs away, I dont want him to go through another summer thinking he was the fault that out playoff run ended prematurely (Last year vs Nash he didnt guard him at the 3 point line).

    So I will have my Dirk Nowitzki jersey on Monday night in front of my TV with my DVR recording away.

    Lets all have fun and hope for the best Mavs fans.

    Lets Go Mavericks

    P.S. Mark I love everything you have doneman, keep up the great work. You are everything that is right about the NBA and Sports. You’re living a fans dream of owning his favorite NBA Franchise and I hope you never decide to sell the Mavericks, if you ever did that might the most dispressing day in Dallas sports history.

    Gary in Fort-Worth

    Comment by Gary Smith -

  14. Mark we all know that you weren’t serious about what you said about SA, You are a master at getting people fired up,thats what you do best.

    I just hope that the JET can come out and have a monster game and put the Spurs away, I dont want him to go through another summer thinking he was the fault that out playoff run ended prematurely (Last year vs Nash he didnt guard him at the 3 point line).

    So I will have my Dirk Nowitzki jersey on Monday night in front of my TV with my DVR recording away.

    Lets all have fun and hope for the best Mavs fans.

    Lets Go Mavericks

    P.S. Mark I love everything you have doneman, keep up the great work. You are everything that is right about the NBA and Sports. You’re living a fans dream of owning his favorite NBA Franchise and I hope you never decide to sell the Mavericks, if you ever did that might the most dispressing day in Dallas sports history.

    Gary in Fort-Worth

    Comment by Gary Smith -

  15. p.s. — I dub this “The Rumble on the Rio.”

    Comment by Rick Wilson -

  16. I just now realized, after reading this piece, that there is one Mav with something like, perhaps equaling Ginobili’s hunger, and that’s Coach Johnson. In this light, I can see a Mavs win tomorrow. What has to happen is for the TEAM to get religion.

    Comment by Rick Wilson -

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