I get pitched continuously. Email after email. 99pct get deleted within 10 seconds. Some repeat offenders get filtered directly to spam.
The quickest way to get deleted and filtered as permanent spam is to send me an email a 2nd time and comment that you are going to show me some “perseverance” and continue to send me the email till I respond. Why do people think this will work ? . For those of you who are not smart enough to figure it out, it is not perseverance to resend an email to someone, anyone, multiple times. Its LAZINESS . Lazy people think they are working hard when they hit the send key. That’s not work. That’s wasting time. That’s the lesson of the day. Sending the same email over and over again not only shows you to be lazy and annoying, but it gets you sent directly to spam.
Now for a sales letter so bad it went from humorous to disturbing. I have marked my comments with an *
Good morning Mark,
I spoke to your very capable secretary Nancy earlier today.
*I dont have a secretary named Nancy*
As a former active Attorney, Real Estate Broker and Advisor with Merrill Lynch,
I believe I have a unique insight into the next big moves in Stocks and Precious metals.
While I do not have a “crystal ball”, I do my homework.
*Nothing unusual so far, but then all of the sudden, the letter gets bizarre. He starts pimping out his daughter for no reason I can figure out *
I have a daughter, Cxxxxxxxxxx, who is a senior in high school.
Two years ago after being chosen by Coca Cola to do a multi-media modeling
Campaign focused on the Olympics in China, she had her ACL ligament severed in a soccer incident. In the Junior
Miss Pageant she won Best Actress and was in the top 10 overall.
She was a model with Elite in XXXXXXX.
You should see her photographs; Facebook: XXXXXX, in YYYYY City
****Im sorry, the whole daughter thing was incredibly disturbing to me*
I plan on specializing in this sector for the next 5 years.
*** IN what , pimping your daughter ?****
I have attached charts for Gold and Silver which go back to 1980.
*How did we get to gold and why ? The simplest search on my name and gold shows I am not a fan of gold. Never will be.***
Gold has made Highs in Jan 1980, 88, 96, 04, 2012?
Gold has made Lows in Jan 1985, 93, 01, 09, 2016?
Silver spent 11 years building a descending wedge from 1980 to 1991.
Silver spent 11 years building a base from 1991 to 2002.
From 2002, the next 11 years are likely to be bullish.
The long term cycle high is due in 2013.
For 9 of the last 10 years Silver has shown Seasonal strength from the end of October
to the end of May with an average gain of 21.4%. (Financial Post, December 8, 2009)
Gold Beats All in Decade of ‘Fear and Greed’: Chart of the Day
http://www.bloomberg.com/apps/news?pid=email_en&sid=aHuMwsIjMF.U
Please click on the link above.
Investors who bought gold or commodities at the beginning of the decade should
have tripled their money by the time the ball drops in New York’s Times Square
on Dec. 31.
Gold has increased more than 380 %
Silver has roughly tripled.
Stock holders have lost approximately 10% in the decade.
We are now entering the 2nd quarter of the Bull market in Gold and Silver.
Historically when Gold makes major high, the Gold/Silver ratio approaches 40.
Gary Savage thinks the ratio could press below 40.
See: www.garyscommonsense.blogspot.com
On a percentage basis, Silver has far more upside than Gold.
Have a great New Year and a Better Decade than the last one.
Very Best Regards,
***So the guy pimps his daughter. Sends me a bunch of charts and info on Gold and Silver and then says good bye. Dont try this at home or work ***
What was he trying to accomplish with the daughter part?
Comment by beevok -
What the??? Thanks for the great afternoon LOL! I hope this was a joke.
Comment by lizcrokin -
Mark,
I train sales people for a living and in every group (I do about 12 a month), there is always one or two people who think it’s totally acceptable to simply send emails to begin the sales process rather than making a phone call or an in person contact.
I realize how important technology is to the sales process, and believe me we utilize technology in very meaningful and productive ways.
This letter and your comments made me laugh outloud, and I plan on using this as an example of “what not to do” in my upcoming courses.
Regards,
Cory Howerton
Comment by coffeewithcory -
Gold is all good until the world falls completely apart. I always get a chuckle out of people who say “Buy Gold because when money is worth nothing, you’ll always be able to trade gold”.
B.S. You can’t eat gold.
-Ray
http://www.schoolyourpool.com
Comment by mainevent360 -
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Creepy
Comment by theheadmistress73 -
The whole thing looks like a scam to me, obviously, but have never seen one like that before!
Comment by dibbsolutions -
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I don’t think anyone took much time writing that letter. As an experienced writing teacher, writer and editor, I see bad plagiarism. Yursoamazing may have dated this person, but I think I had him in class last year.
As others have said that already, the sender is likely to be from outside the country, but I see other signs that have not been pointed out. First, the shift in topic coincides with a decline in correct grammar and punctuation, from which I infer that the writer of that portion — the most egregiously incorrect passage, socially or professionally — is not fluent in English or in US cultural norms.
Second, the daughter passage also differs in style and tone from the rest. The sales pitch sounds like cut and pasted headlines and sentences from multiple sources. Maybe the sender added the daughter portion (plagiarized or not) in a misguided attempt to “connect” with the receiver on a personal level in a wild misinterpretation (or mistranslation) of networking.
Or maybe he hoped you’d want to “meet” his “daughter” and “buy” his “precious metals.”
Comment by debsturgess -
In the words of the immortal Henny Youngman:Take my wife, please!
Comment by agman65 -
It’s amazing how much time people will put into writing a sales letter that ends up saying absolutely nothing…
Comment by marcusalois -
Think first, write second, re-write 10 times, think some more, have someone smarter than you read and criticize, then re-write, spell check…then hit send!
Comment by cogiterium -
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This sounds somewhat like the guy from Africa who keeps asking me to manage his millions from afar.
Comment by Jon Moss -
I get pitched like this all the time. they just send emails without researching anything and with google it’s easy to research. Email have made salespeople the laziest people on earth as they send canned emails out to everybody.
Comment by htmarket -
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当你遇到霜冻，您可以选择杀死全血他，因为他不知道自己的程序。后来，弗罗斯特将使用8码，谁的士兵没有穿耳为，相当于一场噩梦，因为师父会利用减慢使用消耗哇黄金到底。现在，随着刺耳，有些主人会盲目的背面，所以你可以备份在WOW黄金欧盟或拦截他。如果他不退缩，你直接追他，因为网络延迟的原因，你将撤出拦截。和你突然对他的征途上，你一定会向他泄漏的和平，结果是，冰盾被打破，你是你居住冰
有两个选项，立即屏蔽反对，所以你可能会遇到寒冰箭冰枪，然后攻击它并储存了刺耳。这一次，你是脆弱的，你停下来拦截并可能消耗15秒。您可以使用18秒进攻，10秒对无限的哇黄金苛刻。然后不要让其他球员把握八码距离。至于血液，在6秒狂热的血液可回至6％。
作者：mmosavor来源：http://www.mmosavor.com/News/siteguides/Warrior-VS-Frost.htm
Comment by mmosavor -
Wait I know this guy. He sent me an email 10 years urging me purchase internet technology stocks.
Comment by marionyc -
Have a better decade than the last? The person he addressed the email to had a pretty good decade!
Comment by mkmitch -
well nothing turns up yet on Snopes but it takes time. I think I choked a biscuit. Thanks for the tip Mark.
Comment by joryan44 -
Geez. Sheesh. one of the comments made me think I should check Snopes to verify previous discovery in the wild. hope it goes from laughable to disturbing and back to laughable again. logging into snopes.com now..
Comment by joryan44 -
Ha, this is hilarious. Great post.
Mark – I was wondering – good you provide an example of a great sales letter?
Comment by themidnightwill -
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This is a spam email that has been sent to 10s of thousands of people. The girl in the picture is not his daughter. He probably just found the pictures somewhere. This may not even be from an American. Lots of scam emails like this get sent from Russia, eastern europe, and Africa. I saw one site that pretended to be Bank of America to steal peoples account and if you look at the link it was to a private high school in Portugal.
Your email is probably public knowledge so you get alot of spam, scam emails. Look at the email address after the @ and see if your tech guys can figure out where it came from. Odds are it is either a free email address or from over seas.
Expect to get tons more like this since your email address is easy to obtain.
Comment by guessingo -
Hiya Mark, Thanks for the comedy post of the year so far. Great laugh, I get that guilty pleasure from laughing at the expense of another person, but thats what comedy is all about. The daughter pimping just killed me. thanks sir for the great laugh. p.s. I am the guy who asked before in a post and will only ask one last time for your favorite things of 2009, books, sites, films, documentaries, etc. I am looking forward to any thoughts on the 2010 smart phone war now with the Google entering it, the apple tablet, your 2010 media distribution thoughts. Sorry going off the topic, Again great comedic post!
Comment by Tyrone Rubin -
Yikes.
Comment by ericfredrickson -
I think I’ve been on a date with this man. In fact I’m certain of it.
Comment by yrusoamazing -
You’ll be sorry when you lose out on your chance to be in the Goldfinger remake with Daniel Craig! You should have bought the guy’s gold to parlay that into James Bond villain stardom.
Comment by mgile -
What was the purpose of their email? Give you some facts and hope you respond and give them money to buy gold?
Comment by aarondavidsontri -
Hmmm…I have to believe there’s something else going on here other than a gold salesman pimping his daughter. I’d check out the links he provided, but am afraid they’d deliver some toxic virus payload to my laptop. Or maybe he’s just looking for clicks.
In any event, quite bizarre!
Comment by Jeff Graves -
Mark – liking gold doesn’t make you a nuggets fan!
Comment by jankowski -
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I think MC should compile “The Best of Solicitations, Vol I”, publish it (best seller!) to prove that he can make money by actually “using” all these inane sales pitches. Note to wise-asses: This does not count as one of them!
Happy New Year to you all!
Comment by therugelachman -
Holy bad-pitch, Batman! I don’t want to know what he would have done if you replied “send your daughter my way, and we’ll talk.”
Yikes.
Comment by igreenleigh -
My daughter is hotter…
Comment by atorchio -
Aw c’mon. Cut the guys some slack… Pimpin’ ain’t easy.
*rimshot
Comment by Brady -
almost choked on my pizza laughing so hard…why a grown man would send another grown man that email with url to his daughter’s facebook page, he must be facing very very tough times…but dammmm…
Comment by jaronhunter -
Hahaha wow. Its funny what money can make people do.
Comment by bevoryan -
If he’s an actual attorney we’ve set the bar far too low. Scary.
Comment by chrisyoura -
Wow. I knew pimps were into gold, but c’mon…
Comment by bidmodo -