So I’m reading a column by Steve Blow in the Morning Newsa few minutes ago. The article refers to a hustler who got in trouble masquerading as a gynecologist. The guy took out ads in our local free weekly, The Dallas Observer. Funny stuff. The ad was mixed in with all the sex ads and offered his services for “fantasy exams for couples” among others. The suspicious nature of this ad was noticed by authorities who investigated the guy, and brought him up on charges.
All fine and good. Great article Steve. On to the next page in my copy of the Dallas Morning News.
Lo and behold, what’s on the the next page… A full page ad. What is the headline of the ad ?
A Child’s Secret to Winning on Wall Street… Soccer Kid’s portfolio up 355% in six months.
The ad is hysterical. It reads like a Saturday Night Live skit…Christian began trading at age 12 when his parents said he was old enough. Home schooled by his mom, Treva, and experienced WizeTrader (the software they are trying to sell), Christian was introduced to Wizetrade as part of his general education. (Good work mom. Who needs biology when you have WizeTrade!)
Christians younger sister Summer, paper trades only, which means she uses Wizetrade to assess theoretical trades and then tracks their progress in real time. (Treva’s kids dont need no stinkin’ video games. They are homeschooled with WizeTrade!)
Treva says, “Investing without the Advantage of Wizetrade would be ‘Like a surgeon trying to do surgery without his eyes.'” (I didn’t make this up.)
the ad goes on…
Still, 12 year old Christian is the family’s budding superstar. “He made $720 a few days ago on one of his trades. He’s tickled” says Treva.
What a great ad. Except that we know that someone is going to show up at the 3 Seminars they are holding around Dallas this coming weekend. Three rooms with suckers. Three rooms with people that hopefully will have the same authorities who picked out the Fantasy Gynecologist for prosecution warning them before they waste a nickel of their hard earned money.
Call me a cynic, but did no one at the Morning News notice this at all? Does this section have Ed Bark’s editor? The ad would be hysterical if it weren’t for the fact that the paper took the money knowing this was a complete sham.
This really isnt a slam of the paper. I’m sure there are papers all over the country who took the money from these people and closed their eyes. I’m sure there are radio stations doing the same thing. I get really mad when I hear the ads touting “earn X% trading options and futures with the pros”.
To take the hypocrisy to the next level, while this is going on, our trusty government is using tax dollars to stop online gaming sites by preventing them from advertising. Online Gaming sites are safe compared to Wall Street scams.
A little tip for the traditional media out there If you want people to take you more seriously than us little blogs, don’t take ads from people trying to scam your readers.
Unless of course it’s an ad from some guy in Nigeria whose father was in the government and had to leave quickly and needs our money to access to his huge bank account. For just 100 bucks he will give any of us access to the 20mm he has in the bank and put it in our name!
This is for real. I know it is. Little Christian told me he learned it in home schooling.